


What Could Have Been

by JamieHasCatEyes



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Evil Chat Noir, F/M, He's not really evil, Universe Alteration, Villain Chat Noir, poor cat son
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-20 16:07:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13150191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JamieHasCatEyes/pseuds/JamieHasCatEyes
Summary: What if Gabriel had walked in on Adrien at that crucial moment when Adrien had Transformed for the first time?A brief exploration into what could have happened.





	1. Adrien

Chat Noir didn't like being evil. It depressed him whenever he heard people call him a villain, to be hated and feared across the world.

Perhaps things would have been different if Gabriel hadn't walked into his room, without knocking, the first time Adrien had transformed. If he had been able to keep his new powers a secret, perhaps things would have been drastically different.

But, they weren't. Papillon was his father, and Gabriel had seen him the first time he changed into Chat Noir. Gabriel had put forward a compelling argument for working together, though.

'With your ring, and the earrings of the ladybug, we could bring your mother back,' Gabriel had said.

If only Adrien had noticed the mad glint in his eyes, had seen the need to possess the ring and earrings overwhelm Gabriel's humanity. But, back then, he had wanted his mother back, too. He missed her dearly and would have been willing to do almost anything for her return.

Plagg wasn't happy. He insisted the cat was supposed to help the ladybug, but Adrien felt helpless in the face of Gabriel's desperation.

He shrugged off any ill feelings that settled in his stomach. He reasoned that he shouldn't feel bad for the girl who held the earrings. She was an obstacle in his path, and he couldn't allow his conscience to sway him.

When it became obvious Ladybug would not willingly surrender her earrings, Chat Noir grew frustrated. Not just with her, but also with Gabriel, as well as himself. 

Adrien was still never allowed to go to school, Gabriel's fears of him disappearing too real and all-encompassing. So, Adrien remained alone and friendless.

He despised himself for his weakness, his inability to soothe Gabriel's fanaticism, and his desire to talk to Ladybug.

Over time, Chat Noir began to see the effects Papillon's actions had on people. They were distraught, unhappy, and sometimes, shunned by the people around them. The ignorant masses believed the former victims had somehow become an agent of evil, not a mere puppet for Papillon's use. They were called monsters by many, and understood only by those who had been in their situation.

Adrien wanted to tell everyone that they weren't evil monsters. They had just become the worst versions of themselves, given physical form, by magical means and that it was temporary. These people were normal, every day citizens, just as they'd always been.

Adrien slowly began to resent Gabriel. His desire for the ring was all-consuming, even to the point of sacrificing Adrien's well-being. 

 

* * *

 

'You're not getting my miraculous, so just forget it,' Ladybug shouted at him.

Chat Noir merely stared at her, standing on the opposite rooftop across the street. 

An akuma raged below them as people scattered and ran everywhere. Chat Noir turned away when he heard shrieks of fear and shouts of accusation directed at him. 

Chat Noir turned back to Ladybug, but she was already gone. She was off to be a hero, and Chat Noir couldn't suppress the stab of envy. Ladybug was beloved by all, people sang her praises wherever he looked. They were cheering as she defeated the akuma, and still shouted their support when she turned to look at him, next. 

Chat Noir almost expected her to come after him, but that wasn't her style. She never chased him any more than she absolutely had to. Perhaps her own kwami had told her they were supposed to be a team. Why she didn't take his miraculous and find another teammate was a mystery to him.

 

Back in his house, Gabriel berated him severely for not doing anything to assist the akuma. Adrien let the tirade wash over him, long since desensitised to Gabriel's disappointment. 

Adrien was sick of it. He wanted to distance himself from Gabriel, personally and professionally. He was cold and distant as a father, demanding and critical as a boss, and utterly unbearable as Papillon. Adrien wasn't sure how much more he could stand.

He retired, alone, to his room. Plagg had vanished with a huff of disgust, apparently as tired of the situation as he was.

Every time he confronted Ladybug, he found himself wanting to remain by her side, more and more. He wanted what she had. He wanted what she could give him. He thought she was amazing and just wanted her to look at him. To see him as more than her enemy. He wanted her to see his potential.

But, she never did.

_How could she_? Adrien asked himself. _All I ever did was try to rip her ears off_.

There was no way he could even bask in Ladybug's reflected glory. He was an outsider, one of his own making. The truth of that rankled, exasperating his self-loathing. All Adrien wanted to do was talk to her, but he couldn't work up the nerve to do it.

He shook his head at himself, turning on his computer to check the Ladyblog. When Gabriel had seen him on this site, he had been livid. Adrien had explained it was a good way to track their enemy's movements, and while not a lie at the time, things were certainly different now. Adrien continued to let Gabriel believe he was keeping an eye on Ladybug.

 

* * *

 

The following evening, Chat Noir was out, running around to work off his frustration. He was taking the circuitous route home again, when he smelled something divine. It was the aroma of baking bread, and it made his mouth water. Chat Noir realised he had skipped dinner for the sake of this run.

Following his nose, he came to the T & S Bakery and Patisserie. The smell really was delectable, although it was clear the shop had closed for the night. Chat Noir looked to the balcony atop the store, where a plate piled high with pastries sat on a wooden table. Before he could move, a girl emerged from an access hatch, steaming mug and book in hand. She settled in a deck chair by the table and began to read by the light of her lanterns.

Chat Noir watched mournfully. He had seen this girl around the local school, and surrounding area. Sometimes she was alone, sometimes accompanied by a friend. Chat Noir felt the, now familiar, stab of envy. This girl went to school, she had friends, and a family. Chat Noir's body tilted forward, his eyes fixed on the girl.

His legs moved of their own accord, and he found himself crouching on the railing of the girl's balcony. She looked up at the sound and muffled her shriek of surprise with her book. She stared at him, eyes wide, from behind her book. She curled her legs in front of her chest, trembling, as she waited for him to attack.

Chat Noir held his hands up in a placating gesture. 'It's ok,' he said, quietly. 'I'm not going to hurt you.'

She didn't move, and chose to remain quiet.

Chat Noir lowered his head with a sigh. 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you. I'll go now.'

He leapt off before she could respond. He didn't want to be rude, but he couldn't stand to see her cry, either.

Adrien went to bed early that night, and for the first time since he received his miraculous, he allowed his tears to soak his pillow until he fell asleep.

 

* * *

 

Chat Noir found himself looking at the bakery again, the following night. The shop was dark, as was the balcony on the roof. The girl had clearly not wanted to take the chance of seeing him again. Chat Noir sighed.

Just as he was about to leave, he heard the access hatch creak open. A pale face peered through the narrow gap, eyes darting from side to side as the girl looked to see if he were about.

Chat Noir sat still, hoping she would be brave enough to emerge. The lanterns turned on and the girl climbed out, book and mug gripped tight. She settled in her chair again, eyes still shifting from side to side. Chat Noir decided to leave, and turned his back.

'Wait,' a voice cried.

Chat Noir turned around automatically. He was surprised to see the girl standing at her balcony railing, looking at him with a hand outstretched. He briefly wondered if she had called to him, but she was looking at him earnestly. Against his better judgement, Chat Noir turned back and jumped over to her railing, landing a small distance away from her.

She was staring at him. Her head was tilted to one side, her posture defensive, but she was looking at him.

'Good evening,' Chat Noir said, voice soft.

'Hello,' she returned. 'What are you doing here?'

Chat Noir looked at her in confusion. 'You called out to me,' he replied.

She shook her head. 'No, I mean, you've been loitering around since yesterday. Why do you keep coming back?'

Chat Noir shuffled awkwardly. He had only been here twice, surely that wasn't enough to arouse suspicion. But, he figured, since it was him hanging around, perhaps she was right to be concerned.

'Sorry. It wasn't intentional,' he replied.

She was looking at him again. 'You're not like I imagined you'd be.'

He glanced at her from the corner of his eye. 'You imagined someone bigger and scarier?'

She shrugged. 'I imagined someone who never apologised.'

'Sorry to disappoint you, Princess, but not everything you see on TV is accurate.'

She scrunched her nose at the nickname. Chat Noir suppressed a grin.

'My name is Marinette,' she told him, pointedly.

'It's a pleasure to meet you, Princess,' Chat Noir said with a polite inclination of his head. 'My name is Chat Noir.'

Marinette huffed in annoyance. 'I know that. What I don't know is what you're doing here.'

Chat Noir decided he liked Marinette. Once she got over her initial fright, she was actually willing to talk to him. She may have been annoyed and unwelcoming, but she was still there. He imagined that's what having a friend was like.

Chat Noir slid off her railing to stand properly. He gave her a small bow, and said, 'I honestly had no reason for being here, beyond the fact that this was on my way home. I will confess that your shop smells really good, though.'

His stomach rumbled, then, reminding him he had skipped dinner a second night in a row. He blushed as Marinette looked at his belly in surprise.

'You're hungry?' she asked.

'One of the many drawbacks of being me. Sometimes mealtimes have to be sacrificed.'

Marinette was looking at him again, an indecipherable expression on her face. 'Wait here a moment.'

She turned and hopped back down her hatch. Chat Noir did as she instructed, too perplexed to move. When she came back, she carried a plate stacked with pastries and a mug of something hot. She set them on the table, eyeing him warily as she neared him. Chat Noir took a step back to give her room.

'You can have this,' she said. 'Maman would disown me if I let anyone starve to death on her roof.'

'Even me?' he couldn't help but ask. He bit his tongue, praying she hadn't heard.

'Even you,' Marinette replied, still giving him that odd look.

Chat Noir looked at the plate she offered, coming forward when she retreated to her hatch. It was generously laden with an assortment of sweet and savoury breads and pastries. 'Wont this put you out?' he asked, suddenly concerned.

Marinette raised an eyebrow at him. 'For a few left overs? We do better business that that,' she said, a disdainful tone in her voice.

'If you're sure, then, thank you,' he replied. Chat Noir chose a croissant and took a bite. It was easily the best thing he had ever eaten. His eyes widened as he looked up at her. 'This is delicious,' he said, emphatically.

Marinette gave him a small smile, and Chat Noir felt tears sting his eyes. As Adrien, no one had smiled at him since his mother was around. As Chat Noir, only Papillon smiled at him, but that was not a friendly smile. It was covetous and cruel. Nothing like how Marinette was smiling at him now.

Chat Noir ate more of the things she'd brought, praising each one as he tasted it, just so he could see her smile.

'Don't you get fed?' she teased him.

Chat Noir swallowed his last bite. 'Yeah, but not anything as good as this. You get to eat like this every day?'

Marinette gave a delicate snort. 'If I ate like that every day, I'd be as round as I am tall.'

Chat Noir felt a thrill of rebellion. 'Is this stuff really that fattening?'

'Yeah,' Marinette shrugged. 'Croissants alone have a shocking amount of butter in them.'

He grinned at her, the first genuine smile he had made in months. 'They were my favourite,' he admitted.

Marinette perched on her chair, giving him a curious look. 'You really aren't what I imagined.'

Chat Noir leaned against the railing, crossing his arms. He looked away from her and asked, 'what did you imagine?'

'Like I said, someone who didn't apologise. Who would expect people to cater to his whims, so he wouldn't destroy their houses. Someone more demanding, I guess.'

'Oh. Well, like I said, you can't always believe what you see on TV.'

'I guess not. Can I ask you a question?' she asked, tentatively.

He looked up at her. 'Of course.'

She raised an eyebrow at him. 'You said "one of the drawbacks of being you." What are the drawbacks?'

Chat Noir sighed, rubbing the back of his head. 'There are too many to list.'

'Do you regret the way things have turned out?'

'Yes.'

She looked at him in surprise. 'I didn't expect you to say that.'

Chat Noir lifted one shoulder in a half shrug. 'It's the truth.'

'So,' she continued, quietly, 'if you could do anything different, what would it be?'

'Everything,' Chat Noir replied, equally quiet.

When she continued to look puzzled, he explained. 'Did you know the Black Cat and the Ladybug are supposed to work together?'

'Really?'

'Yeah. Two sides of the same coin. Equals and opposites. We're supposed to balance each other, make up for what the other lacks. Except, it didn't work out that way, and Ladybug works perfectly fine all on her own. She wouldn't want me for her partner, anyway.'

'Do you want to be her partner?'

'Yes.'

Marinette's eyes bulged. 'Then why are you working with Papillon?'

'I work for him, not with. As for why, well, there are extenuating circumstances.'

Marinette leaned forward in her seat. 'What kind of circumstances?' she asked softly.

Chat Noir couldn't look at her. Nor could he run away. 'Papillon knows who I am, for one. He wants the same thing I do, for another.'

Marinette swallowed. 'How could he know who you are? What is it that you both want so badly?'

Chat Noir just shook his head. 'I can't answer those questions, Princess,' he replied, sadly.

He wanted to. Marinette would understand. She would at least acknowledge the difficult position he was in. She would keep his secrets. But Gabriel had taught him to not trust anyone right away.

'Can you tell me why you can't just switch sides? If you're unhappy with Papillon, why stay with him?'

'It's not as easy as that,' he said, morosely. 'I have no choice.'

'You always have a choice,' she disagreed.

Chat Noir gave her a sceptical look.

'You could let things stay as they are,' Marinette said, raising one finger. 'You could defect to Ladybug's side,' she continued, checking off another finger. 'Or, you could become Ladybug's partner in secret and be her spy. Finally, you could give up your miraculous entirely.' She ticked off two more fingers.

Chat Noir was silent for a moment. 'You seem to have overlooked something important, Princess.'

'What's that?'

'Ladybug won't want to work with me.'

Marinette looked at him questioningly. 'How do you know that?'

'Because she hates me. I keep trying to steal her miraculous.'

'Maybe if you talked to her, she would be willing to give you a chance.'

'I don't deserve a chance. There's a reason people hate me, you know.'

A voice from within the house called Marinette to bed.

'I have to go, but think about what I said. Please?'

Chat Noir turned to her. He hoisted himself onto her railing and bowed to her. 'I will, I promise. Thank you for listening, Marinette.'

Chat Noir extended his baton and vaulted away before she could respond. He turned back briefly, once he was hidden in the shadows, to see Marinette climbing back into her house. He then went back to his own house, thinking hard on what she had said.

 

* * *

 

Gabriel scolded him harshly the following morning.

'What do you think you were doing, talking with some no-account girl? Do you want to risk everything we have worked so hard for?'

Adrien shook his head. There was no point answering verbally while Gabriel was mid-rant.

'Furthermore, you were sloppy. You allowed yourself to be seen, photographed, by some media hack. We do not need your picture all over the papers. What if that reporter had heard you? Did you say anything incriminating?'

'No, Father,' Adrien replied, automatically.

Everything Gabriel was saying was true. He had been sloppy. But Marinette was not "some no-account girl." He wondered how she was coping with her name in the papers. he hoped he hadn't caused her too many problems.

He didn't think she'd appreciate it, but Adrien considered her his friend. The first new friend he had made in years. He thought about Chloe, but he hadn't seen her in almost a year now, and their personal correspondence had dwindled down to almost nothing. Chloe was a former friend, at best. Adrien had mixed feelings about that. Chloe had been his only friend since they were toddlers, and had gone through a lot together. But Chloe was also callous, selfish, and wilful. If he were to be honest with himself, Adrien had to admit that Chloe wasn't much of a friend at all.

'So, do you care to explain yourself, Adrien?' Gabriel asked.

Adrien looked beyond Gabriel's shoulder dispassionately. 'I was merely curious as to why she didn't run away, screaming, at the sight of me.'

Gabriel looked at him in disbelief. 'Is that all, Adrien, really?'

'Yes, Father.'

'You expect me to believe that?' Gabriel was scornful.

'She also gave me something to eat, when I asked for it,' Adrien continued, hoping Gabriel would let the issue rest.

'You have food here. Is that not good enough for you, anymore?'

As tempting as it was to give a facetious answer, Adrien restrained himself. It would do no good to provoke Gabriel when he was in a mood. 'She was merely convenient, that's all.'

Gabriel snorted. 'You are to never see that girl again. Your after-hours runs are banned, indefinitely.'

Adrien spluttered in disbelief. 'Father, it's not that bad,' he argued.

'You were seen,' Gabriel hissed, leaning over his desk toward Adrien. 'Go to your room. You're grounded until further notice.'

Adrien suppressed a frustrated sigh, and walked out of Gabriel's office. He let the door slam behind him, and stomped up to his room.

Slamming his bedroom door as well, Adrien threw himself face-first, onto his bed.

'A little melodramatic, weren't you?' Plagg asked.

Adrien mumbled into his blankets.

Plagg floated over and allowed himself to fall onto Adrien's pillow. 'I didn't understand that, but I assume we're going to ignore the old man and go out, anyway.'

'That's exactly what we're doing,' Adrien growled. 'That man has no right to stop me from doing anything.'

Once the time read ten o'clock, Chat Noir opened his window and fled into the night.

 

 

Marinette's balcony was dark. Chat Noir supposed it was too late for her to be up, so he moved on. His apologies for being seen by the media would have to wait. He then ran all over the city, still thinking about what she said.

Her options had been on his mind all day. If he were to stay with Gabriel, nothing would change. He would still be chasing after Ladybug, fighting her, and failing to get her earrings. The public would still call him a monster, hate him and curse his name.

If he were to switch sides, Gabriel would kick him out of the only home he had ever known. He would also demand Adrien's miraculous, maybe even try to fight him for it.

For all of Gabriel's faults, he was still Adrien's father, and Adrien wasn't sure he could fight him, let alone win.

Becoming Ladybug's spy had some appeal. He would get to remain in his home, live his life as he normally would, but secretly be working with Ladybug. But this was counting heavily on the assumption that she would want to work with him. Furthermore, it involved deceiving Gabriel. The man Adrien had once known was gone, but he wasn't confident he would be able to betray his own father so easily.

Marinette's last option of relinquishing his miraculous was unthinkable. Plagg would probably be thankful for the release, but Adrien was selfish and weak. As painful as being Chat Noir had become, Adrien didn't think he would be able to give it up. He didn't want to give it up, not before he'd even had a chance at redemption.

Chat Noir stopped on a nondescript rooftop, looking out at the lights. It made him feel small, all those lights in that vast expanse of space.

'You've gotten careless,' a voice behind him said.

Chat Noir spun around to see Ladybug, casually leaning against an air conditioning vent and inspecting her fingertips after she dragged them over the grubby surface.

'So I've been told,' he responded, carefully.

'You shouldn't be bothering innocent girls, you know.' She finally looked up at him, reproachfully.

'I know.'

'Then why do it?' she asked, sounding irritated.

He turned away from her. 'I don't know,' he replied, honestly. 'I guess I just wanted someone to talk to.'

Ladybug stared at him, flabbergasted. 'I guess you don't have any friends to talk to as Chat Noir.'

Chat Noir gave a bitter laugh. 'I don't have any friends as anyone. Can you blame me for reaching out when someone doesn't run away from me?'

Ladybug took a step toward him, a hand outstretched, but Chat Noir shrank back.

'I don't expect you to understand, Ladybug. Everybody loves you. You must have dozens of friends, no matter which face you wear. But, we can't all be as fortunate as you.'

Ladybug swallowed and lowered her hand. 'Do you resent me?'

Chat Noir squeezed his eyes shut and wrapped his arms around his chest. 'I resent myself,' he muttered.

She looked at him in surprise. 'Are you always so candid?' she asked.

Chat Noir looked at her. 'Believe it or not, I'm not a liar. I may be the scum of the earth, but I have never lied. Certainly not to you, or that girl.'

'Why single her and me out? I wouldn't think either of us had done anything to earn such unwavering trust.'

'Even a small gesture of kindness makes a difference. Marinette showed me a generosity I can't recall ever experiencing before. You, on the other hand, are everything I wish I could be.'

Not wanting to see how she'd react to that, Chat Noir turned and jumped off the building. He hid in the shadows until he was sure she was gone, then headed home. He berated himself the whole way; he hadn't meant to be that open with her.

 

* * *

 

Adrien was furious. Another argument with Gabriel had ended with both of them angry, and refusing to speak to one another. Adrien had wanted to attend school, the same one as Chloe, to see if he could "find out anything he could about Ladybug." Gabriel had refused, telling him the world was too dangerous, that he ought to be grateful Gabriel took such good care of him here.

Adrien had argued that they were the dangerous ones, that no one would want to kidnap Chat Noir, but Gabriel was adamant.

Adrien paced his room. Gabriel's paranoia and hypocrisy were galling, and he had borne enough. Adrien called on his transformation and scampered out his window, careless of any witnesses.

He ran across the city, people pointing and shouting as he passed, but no one was quick enough to catch him. It was still day time, and the police sent a helicopter after him. Chat Noir groaned before slipping down between two buildings, then into the metro. He detransformed once he was in the covering gloom, then proceeded to catch the next train. He didn't care where it took him, as long as it was away from there.

Adrien decided fate was, indeed, cruel when he exited the metro by the school near his house. He sighed at his own folly, rubbing the heel of his palm against his forehead, eyes clenched shut.

'Are you ok?' someone asked.

Adrien opened his eyes to see Marinette in front of him, looking at him in concern.

'You're not lost are you?' she asked.

He nearly blurted her name in surprise, before quickly covering his mistake. 'No, thank you, I'm fine,' he assured her.

There was another girl behind Marinette, a girl he recognised as the one who filmed most of his confrontations with Ladybug for her blog. She was looking at Adrien curiously, adjusting her glasses while she peered at him. He nodded politely to her.

'Sorry to worry you over nothing,' Adrien apologised with a brittle smile. He moved on, hoping Marinette hadn't recognised him. He wished he could talk to her like an ordinary person. She went to this school. Maybe if he attended school here, they'd be in the same class.

Adrien shook his head.  _If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride_ , he thought.

That afternoon, he endured another of Gabriel's tirades. He ignored the insults, the veiled threats, and the commands for obedience. He needed to speak with Ladybug again.

 

That night, Adrien snuck out the front door, while Plagg slept in his breast pocket. Adrien wasn't concerned for his safety, but he made sure to duck out of sight quickly if he heard someone approach from behind. Gabriel may be overprotective and paranoid, but that was no reason to be reckless.

There were still plenty of people about at ten thirty, coming from or going to work. Enjoying the cool air, or celebrating an event. Everything was peaceful when akumas weren't threatening the town. Adrien wished he had their normality, had nothing to worry about except for the normal things people had to deal with. Every day, Adrien felt more and more weighed down by Gabriel and his expectations. He wanted to leave, he should leave, but where would he go?

Suddenly, a warm force collided with his back and he was swept into the air. An arm circled his chest, but Adrien had squeezed his eyes shut the moment he felt someone hit his back. He was set back on his feet on the other side of the road, with a cranky Ladybug glaring at him.

'What do you think you were doing? You could have been flattened,' she told him with a stern glare.

Adrien looked around. Behind him was the road and a set of traffic lights. 'I'm sorry. What happened?'

Ladybug looked at him in disbelief. 'You just walked across a busy road without waiting for the lights. A car nearly ran you over. Do you have a death wish or something?' she shrieked.

Adrien cringed. 'I apologise,' he murmured. 'I didn't mean to inconvenience you.'

Ladybug spluttered incoherently, waving her arms about frantically. 'No, I didn't mean it like that. It's no inconvenience. You just scared me, is all.'

'Oh, well, then. I'm sorry to have scared you.' Adrien tried to smile reassuringly.

Ladybug dragged her hands down her face. She then looked at him so intently he began to think she had recognised him.

'It's getting late,' she commented, finally. 'Would you like me to take you home?'

Adrien backed away, hands up. 'No, thank you. I can manage. It's not far from here. Thank you, again, and good night, Ladybug.' Adrien turned and walked away as fast as he could, without looking like he was running away from her.

 

* * *

 

Two nights later, Chat Noir was watching Marinette's balcony again. She crawled up through her hatch and sat in her deck chair to read. Chat Noir jumped over, landing lightly on her railing in a crouch. She startled at the sudden noise, but eased her posture when she saw him. Her eyes remained wary, though.

'Chat Noir, to what do I owe the pleasure?'

'Good evening, Princess,' Chat Noir replied, bowing to her. 'I was just wondering, how would I tell Ladybug that I want to work with her instead of Papillon?'

'Wait, what? You find her and you tell her, of course.'

'Is it really a matter of course?' Chat Noir asked. 'I've been actively working against her for about a year now. She might want nothing to do with me.'

Marinette gulped. 'I think if you're straightforward and honest, she'll believe you. May I ask what brought this on?'

Chat Noir squatted on his heels, looking at the floor. Slowly, he moved toward her on all fours until his forehead bumped her knees. He pulled his legs forward and sat at her feet, still resting his head against her legs. 'Would it make you happy, if I changed sides?' he asked, softly.

Cautiously, she petted his hair. Softly at first, she tentatively stroked his head until he began to relax. 'It would,' she answered. 'But you shouldn't make a decision based on what other people think. You should want to do this for you.'

'I do want this for me, but sometimes what I want isn't enough.'

'Oh, Chat Noir,' Marinette whispered.

'I hate this,' Chat Noir blurted. 'I hate being the bad guy. I can't stand the thought that I make people scared and unhappy. I hate doing bad things, I hate that people hate me, and I hate that Ladybug hates me.' Chat Noir gulped a deep breath. 'Most of all, I hate myself. For my weakness, my selfishness, for everything.'

Chat Noir was crying by the time he finished speaking. His hands clenched and unclenched against the floor. He wanted to hold on to Marinette, but wasn't sure if she would want to hug him. He also couldn't risk scratching her.

Marinette eased herself out of her chair to kneel in front of him. She pulled him into a hug, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, as he cautiously slid his arms around her waist.

'Shh, it'll be ok,' she whispered over and over again in his ear. One hand rubbed his back while the other continued to stroke his hair.

His breathing evened out, but Chat Noir still held her delicately, his head resting against her shoulder. Marinette's presence was comforting and reassuring. She was soft and warm. Everything about her was the opposite of what he knew at home. Chat Noir briefly thought his home could go to rot and ruin, if he could stay as he was.

'Ladybug would be thrilled to have you on her side,' Marinette murmured. 'Just be honest with her, as you were with me. Trust that everything will work out. It'll all be ok, in the end. You'll see.'

He believed her. Tomorrow, he was going to find Ladybug.

He was going to end this.


	2. Marinette

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette struggles to cope on her own

Marinette was tired. She was mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. She had thought she could do this, that she was perfectly capable on her own, but truthfully, it had become too much. Between school, babysitting, bakery duties, being a good daughter, and her obligations as Ladybug, Marinette felt stretched thin. She was stressed, anxious, and depressed.

At first, Marinette had been thrilled. It was exhilarating, being Ladybug, kicking akuma butt and dodging Chat Noir as though he were nothing more than a nuisance. But that feeling hadn't lasted long. After a month of combating evil on her own, Marinette could barely keep her head up. It was overwhelming, and Marinette could only cry when the weight crushed her.

It was a surprise when the harder battles didn't leave bruises, or any lasting injuries. Her Miraculous Cure fixed all physical damage, but the mental and emotional scars never faded.

Tikki tried to be as helpful and supportive as she could, but there was only so much she could do. Especially since Tikki was unhappy as well. It wasn't often the cat and the bug were pitted against each other, but when they were, it caused her and Plagg great heartache. So, Tikki would often tell Marinette stories of former ladybugs and black cats, of their embarrassing moments and misadventures. These afforded them both rare smiles, but were, inevitably, short-lived. Marinette appreciated Tikki's efforts, though.

Marinette wasn't sure why Papillon and Chat Noir wanted her earrings, but Tikki told her their intentions could not be good. She had mentioned a great power when the two miraculouses were combined, but had refused to elaborate. Marinette could only assume that if her earrings and Chat Noir's ring were brought together, the wielder would become extremely powerful. Papillon was too unstable to be trusted, so her resolve to keep her earrings intensified.

School life was marginally better. The people were the same as always, the work was predictable. It was almost boring in comparison, but Marinette didn't take it for granted. She treasured the monotonous routine, and the unchanging people. Alya was refreshing company, though. She was excitable and enthusiastic, quick to stand up for others, and a steadfast supporter of Ladybug. Alya could be pushy at times, particularly if she noticed Nathaniel was around, but she calmed down when Marinette asked her to. Some days, she made life seem more manageable, and Marinette loved her dearly for it.

 

* * *

 

'You're not getting my miraculous, so just forget it,' Ladybug shouted at Chat Noir.

He stood on the building opposite her, watching. She huffed in irritation. He had been acting differently, lately, like he wasn't trying anymore. She put Chat Noir out of her mind when shrieks sounded below. She leapt off her building and lunged at the akuma, quickly defeating it before the reporters could appear.

That was something else Ladybug was getting tired of. People's reactions to the formerly akumatised were getting nasty, and it was spreading. At first, many let it go, after Ladybug told them that the victims were just being used by an evil force. After they were freed from the power controlling them, they went back to how they were before, unchanged. But in the last few months, many others claimed that the victims must have chosen to work for Papillon, that they were still agents of the devil. This led to civil unrest and calls for the arrests of former akuma victims, especially the particularly violent ones. Ladybug spent every other day speaking at press conferences, giving interviews on Alya's blog, and reassuring civilians one on one that once the akumas were cleansed, they were no longer a threat.

Once her Cure had spread throughout the city, Ladybug turned back to where Chat Noir stood. He was watching her from the same position, but turned and left before she could do anything. People surrounded her, then. Reporters and citizens alike wanted her to assure them all was well, and that she was doing everything she could to end Papillon's reign of terror.

 

* * *

 

It had been an exhausting day. Marinette envied her predecessors who had their partners by their sides. She would do anything to have her Black Cat fight with her. It was lonely and stressful on her own. She could only find rare moments of peace on her balcony, late in the evenings, when she could lose herself in a book. There was no one demanding her attention, no one screaming to be saved. Marinette lived for these quiet moments.

Just as Marinette was comfortable, there was a ringing thud. Looking up in alarm, she was surprised to see Chat Noir crouching on the far end of her railing, looking at her. She yelped, afraid he had somehow figured out her identity, holding her book up like a shield while she curled up behind it.

Chat Noir extended his hands in a surrendering motion.  'It's ok,' he said, quietly. 'I'm not going to hurt you.'

Marinette was too shocked to move, her heart thumping hard as she tried to catch her breath. Had he figured her out, or was he here by chance?

Chat Noir let out a soft sigh as he lowered his head. 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you. I'll go now.'

He then jumped off, fleeing into the night.

Marinette remained in her seat, trying to recover. Chat Noir appearing on her balcony was a surprise, but not an unwelcome one. She had just been thinking about how much she needed a partner, and Chat Noir had been acting increasingly strangely.

It was a subtle shift, at first. Chat Noir had not been as strenuous in his efforts to claim her miraculous. Once, he would have torn her ears from her head without any further thought. But, over time, his attempts had become half-hearted, even lazy. Now, it was like he no longer cared. His participation in battles had diminished to almost nothing, sometimes not even showing up at all. Something had changed for him, and Mariette wanted to find out what.

 

* * *

 

The following night, Marinette had to babysit Manon. She was late for her scheduled Peace Time, as she called it, and was anxious to get started. She was inching open her hatch when she remembered Chat Noir had been skulking about the previous night. She peered through the gap her hatch door created, to see if he were about. She wanted to see him again, but she didn't want him to scare her. It always threw her off, when she was startled. She couldn't see him, so she flicked on her lights and eased herself, her book and her mug up and settled into her chair. She still kept an eye out, but was keen to immerse herself in her book and finally relax.

Just as she pulled her book out and found her page, a flicker of movement caught her eye. She leapt out of her chair and called out, 'wait.'

She hoped it was him. She'd feel pretty silly if she had just called to a pigeon, or worse, a complete stranger. She felt a mix of relief and tension when she saw him turn back, his eyes reflecting the city lights.

_Definitely Chat Noir_ , she thought with a giddy thrill.

He jumped back to her railing with only a brief moment of hesitation, landing a small distance to her right.

She stared at him, taking him in. She had never seen him up close before, not like this. Usually, when he was near her, he was trying to rip her earrings out of her ears. He snarled and made terrifying faces at her, swiping at her with his claws.

Now, he was still. Her arms drew up to her chest in an automatic attempt at protection, but he remained where he was, glancing at her from the corner of his eyes. He seemed unsure, timid, even. So different from her previous impression of him.

'Good evening,' he said, quietly, with a polite nod.

'Hello,' she replied. Suddenly, her curiosity overrode her caution. 'What are you doing here?'

He tilted his head in confusion. 'You called out to me,' he explained.

Marinette shook her head. 'No, I mean, you've been loitering around since yesterday. Why do you keep coming back?'

She watched, fascinated, as he shuffled awkwardly on his perch. It was surreal, seeing him like this, subdued, and unsure. She wondered what he was thinking.

'Sorry. It wasn't intentional,' he replied.

She realised her question didn't make any sense. She had seen him here once before, that didn't warrant an interrogation. But, he was so different. He was quiet, and seemed to shrink in on himself, despite being quite tall. She wondered how old he was. She had always assumed he was a couple of years her senior, but seeing him now, she wasn't so sure.

'You're not like I'd imagined you'd be,' she confessed.

He glanced up at her, his face expressionless. 'You imagined someone bigger and scarier?'

That was exactly what she imagined. In her mind's eyes, she remembered him as taller than he really was, especially back in their earlier days when he was a threat. Now, she wasn't sure what to think.

She shrugged. 'I imagined someone who never apologised.' She didn't know what else to say, apart from that grain of truth.

'Sorry to disappoint you, Princess, but not everything you see on TV is accurate.'

She bristled at the nickname. Only spoiled brats were called that, and she didn't appreciate his implication.

'My name is Marinette,' she told him, sternly.

'It's a pleasure to meet you, Princess,' Chat Noir said with a polite inclination of his head. 'My name is Chat Noir.'

She should have guessed he had a terrible sense of humour. Marinette huffed in annoyance. 'I know that. What I don't know is what you're doing here.'

Chat Noir slid off her railing to stand properly and gave a small bow. He stood half a head taller than her when he straightened up, but Marinette refused to be intimidated by his height advantage.

'I honestly had no reason for being here, beyond the fact that this was on my way home. I will confess that your shop smells really good, though,' he replied.

He shouldn't be able to smell anything. The shop had been closed for hours, and the ovens had long since gone cold. She gave him a sceptical look as his stomach growled.

'You're hungry?' she asked, distracted from her previous train of thought.

'One of the many drawbacks of being me. Sometimes mealtimes have to be sacrificed.'

That was a concerning sentence. Questions filled her head, but lessons Sabine had taught her from the cradle urged her to remember her manners. 'Wait here a moment,' she said.

Rushing into the kitchen, she was pleased to see the room empty and dim. Tom and Sabine had to be up early to make the bread, so they usually went to bed early, too. Moving as quickly and quietly as possible, Marinette arranged some of the day's unsold stock on a plate and made a mug of hot chocolate. She quickly shut everything off and raced back upstairs, hoping Chat Noir hadn't ran away while she was gone.

She was pleased to see him exactly as she'd left him, when she returned. She set the plate and mug on the table while Chat Noir shuffled closer to her roses, keeping the table between them. She was momentarily confused, until she realised he was giving her space. That was a courtesy she hadn't expected, but he had been throwing all her preconceptions off, tonight.

'You can have this,' she said, indicating the plate. 'Maman would disown me if I let anyone starve to death on her roof.'

'Even me?' he asked, quietly, with his head down.

'Even you,' she confirmed.

Something was wrong. Chat Noir was usually violent, noisy, and cocksure. To see him look downtrodden and sad was heart wrenching. Marinette was surprised by the strength of her emotions, but Chat Noir was supposed to be her partner. He was someone she was supposed to care about.

He looked at the plate like he wanted it, but hesitated. 'Won't this put you out?' he asked.

His concern for her parents' business held him back. She was surprised by his consideration, and her curiosity about his personal life grew.

'For a few left overs? We do better business that that,' she said, hoping to reassure him.

'If you're sure, then, thank you,' he replied. Chat Noir chose a croissant and took a bite. His face lit up and Marinette was glad she did this for him.

'This is delicious,' he said, enthusiastically.

Marinette smiled, his own happy face strangely catching.

He praised the food like he had never eaten before, and finally finished the whole serving. He took a swig of the hot chocolate to wash it down.

'Don't you get fed?' she teased.

Chat Noir swallowed his last mouthful. 'Yeah, but not anything as good as this. You get to eat like this every day?'

Marinette snorted. 'If I ate like that every day, I'd be as round as I am tall.' He had some funny notions about what it was like to live above a bakery, but then, so did a lot of people.

'Is this stuff really that fattening?' he asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

'Yeah,' Marinette shrugged. 'Croissants alone have a shocking amount of butter in them.'

He grinned at her. 'They were my favourites,' he said.

His smile seemed so natural. She liked the look of it, when it wasn't twisted into something mocking and frightful. In this moment, he seemed like a boy like any other, and she wanted him to stay like that.

'You really aren't what I imagined,' she repeated.

Chat Noir leaned against the railing and crossed his arms. He looked away from her, 'what did you imagine?' he asked.

'Like I said, someone who didn't apologise. Who would expect people to cater to his whims, so he wouldn't destroy their houses. Someone more demanding, I guess.'

'Oh. Well, like I said, you can't always believe what you see on TV,' he replied. 

Indeed, he was the opposite of how the media portrayed him. He was the opposite of how he portrayed himself. Everybody had more than one side to them, but to be exposed to the rough side of Chat Noir for so long, then to meet this quieter, gentler side, cast everything she knew about him out the window. She would have to re-evaluate her entire image of him after tonight.

'I guess not. Can I ask you a question?' she asked, tentatively.

He looked up at her. 'Of course.'

She raised an eyebrow at him. 'You said "one of the drawbacks of being you." What are the drawbacks?'

Chat Noir sighed, rubbing the back of his head. 'There are too many to list.'

That was interesting. 'Do you regret the way things have turned out?'

'Yes.'

He surprised her again. 'I didn't expect you to say that,' she confessed, wondering what he regretted most.

Chat Noir lifted one shoulder in a half shrug. 'It's the truth.'

'So,' she continued, quietly, 'if you could do anything different, what would it be?' Marinette held her breath as she waited for his answer.

'Everything,' Chat Noir replied, equally quiet.

She was amazed by his frankness and curious about his reasons. Marinette was about to ask how he'd change things when he said something else.

'Did you know the Black Cat and the Ladybug are supposed to work together?'

'Really?' she asked, baffled by the change in subject. Her instinct to act ignorant was all that prevented her from revealing herself. She let out a quiet breath of relief.

'Yeah. Two sides of the same coin. Equals and opposites. We're supposed to balance each other, make up for what the other lacks. Except, it didn't work out that way, and Ladybug works perfectly fine all on her own. She wouldn't want me for her partner, anyway.'

'Do you want to be her partner?'

'Yes.'

Marinette was amazed. 'Then why are you working with Papillon?' she asked.

'I work for him, not with. As for why, well, there are extenuating circumstances.' Chat Noir sounded bitter and fragile. She had to tread cautiously.

Marinette leaned forward. 'What kind of circumstances?' she asked softly. She wanted to understand why he would forsake his intended partner for a man like Papillon, but she couldn't unless he explained himself. She waited patiently for his response.

He wouldn't look at her. 'Papillon knows who I am, for one. He wants the same thing I do, for another.'

Marinette swallowed. 'How could he know who you are? What is it that you both want so badly?'

Chat Noir just shook his head. 'I can't answer those questions, Princess,' he replied, sadly.

Marinette was astounded. She had been sure he would explain himself. He had been forthright with her all through their conversation, until now. His situation must be more dire than she realised.

'Can you tell me why you can't just switch sides? If you're unhappy with Papillon, why stay with him?'

'It's not as easy as that,' he said, morosely. 'I have no choice.'

'You always have a choice,' she disagreed, silently begging him.

Chat Noir gave her a sceptical look.

'You could let things stay as they are,' Marinette said, raising one finger. She had to make him see he did have choices. 'You could defect to Ladybug's side,' she continued, checking off another finger. 'Or, you could become Ladybug's partner in secret and be her spy. Finally, you could give up your miraculous entirely.' She ticked off two more fingers.

Her last option was more of a last resort. She didn't want him to relinquish his miraculous, but she hoped he would join her. Thinking selfishly, it would ease her burden significantly. Thinking selflessly, it would be good for Chat Noir, too. He was clearly troubled in his current role, and she wanted him to be happy. She wanted him with her. It felt right, being with him like this, as if they were friends. She wanted this for both of them, and for the good of the city. If they were to join forces, Papillon would be powerless against them.

'You seem to have overlooked something important, Princess,' Chat Noir said, looking at his feet once more.

'What's that?'

'Ladybug won't want to work with me,' he sounded defeated.

'How do you know that?' Marinette asked, perplexed.

'Because she hates me. I keep trying to steal her miraculous,' Chat Noir explained, sadly.

'Maybe if you talked to her, she would be willing to give you a chance.' Of course she would give him a chance. Marinette was convinced that Chat Noir genuinely wanted to work with Ladybug.

'I don't deserve a chance. There's a reason people hate me, you know.'

Her concerns arose again. Everyone deserved a chance to prove themselves, and for Chat Noir to think he didn't was alarming. She was just about to reach out for him, reassure him that things were going to be fine, when Sabine called her to bed. She cursed Sabine's timing.

'I have to go, but think about what I said. Please?' she begged him.

Chat Noir turned back to her. He sat on her railing and bowed to her. 'I will, I promise. Thank you for listening, Marinette.' Chat Noir vaulted into the darkness.

Marinette went back into her room. 'I thought you were already asleep,' she said to Sabine.

Sabine was hovering just inside her doorway. 'I was, but then I remembered how tired you've been lately. I wanted to make sure you went to bed at a reasonable hour tonight.'

Marinette sighed. 'Right. Thanks, Maman.'

Sabine turned out the light as she left. Marinette and Tikki curled up together in bed, but sleep was slow in coming.

 

* * *

 

The following morning, Marinette came down from her room to see Tom and Sabine staring at the TV, open mouthed and wide eyed.

'Uh, shouldn't you be opening the shop now?' she asked.

They turned to her simultaneously, twin expressions of ire on their faces.

'Marinette,' Sabine said. 'Would you care to explain why you were talking to Chat Noir on your balcony last night?'

Marinette stilled, eyes wide. She scrambled for an explanation, but nothing was forthcoming.

'Nope,' she finally said.

Tom and Sabine glowered at her as she mentally berated herself.

'Well, then, Young Lady, you're grounded for a month.'

'But Maman,' Marinette began, but Tom cut her off.

'No, Marinette. This is inexcusable. I don't want that criminal anywhere near our home, or you. Until you can come up with a perfectly good reason why he was here, you're grounded. No television, no games, and no phone. Your internet activity will also be closely monitored.'

'That's a little excessive, isn't it?' Marinette argued.

'Marinette,' Sabine said, face serious. 'You're not dating that monster, are you?'

'What?' she shrieked. 'No, we were just talking.'

'What were you talking about?' Sabine pressed.

'Nothing I'm in a position to share.'

'Then your grounding stands. Hand over your phone,' Tom said, holding out a hand.

Marinette pulled her phone out of her pocket and dropped in his outstretched palm. Refusing to look at them, she hoisted her bag over her shoulder and left for school. She dreaded what she would have to face when she got there and, sure enough, the moment she stepped into the courtyard, she was bombarded with questions and accusations.

She pushed through the crowd and headed straight to her classroom. People clamoured outside the door, but only her classmates dared to enter.

'What the heck?' Alix demanded, slamming her hands on Marinette's desk.

'Why were you talking to that creep?' Mylene asked from her seat.

'You're not in league with him, are you?' Chloe added from the front of the room.

The class gasped at the possibility, murmuring among themselves.

'Will you all just shut up? You have no idea what you're talking about,' Alya shouted from the doorway.

Marinette heaved a sigh of relief. Alya pushed the stragglers out of her way until she got to her seat.

'Are you doing ok, Girl?' she asked, placing a comforting hand on Marinette's shoulder.

Marinette's hands clenched around her bag straps, but she leaned against Alya and rested her head on her shoulder. 'I'll be ok,' she whispered.

Alya rubbed her back as the remaining students filed in, giving the ones who stared too long a hard glare. The bell rang, and Madame Bustier entered and began the class. She acted like it was any other day, but she occasionally cast a worried glance at Marinette.

Marinette ignored them all, focussing only on Alya, to help block out their prying eyes and ridiculous questions.

She told Alya about losing her phone and internet privileges over lunch. Marinette hadn't wanted to go home during the break, and had only a little money, so they ate at Alya's place. It was blessedly empty, and Marinette allowed herself to relax. Unfortunately, lunch ended and Marinette was, once again, back in school. Her relentless peers pressed her for details again, but if she were to say anything now, it would only be to retaliate against their absurd accusations. She didn't want to say anything she would regret later, so she remained silent.

None of this helped her stress levels, so she hoped Papillon would keep quiet, at least.

Finally, the day was over. However, the constant badgering and staring had left Marinette in a filthy mood. She went straight to her room when she got home, refusing to greet Tom and Sabine for the first time ever. Feeling mulish and rebellious, she spoke with Alya online for a few hours, dismissing Alya's fears of a greater punishment for using the internet for frivolous reasons. Marinette couldn't remember ever being this angry, so it seemed like her parents were the least of her concerns. 

She ignored Sabine's call for dinner, and when there was an insistent knock on her door, Marinette dragged one of her storage chests over it to prevent their entry. They left her alone after that.

By nine-thirty, she was still riled up. Calling on Tikki, who had remained quiet and hidden all afternoon, Marinette transformed, and ran around the city until her lungs burned.

 

Ladybug was only mildly surprised to see Chat Noir standing on a rooftop, looking at the view. She landed behind him, coming up beside a large air conditioning vent and dragged her fingertips over it as she walked around to its front. She leaned there, inspecting the dirt on her gloves.

'You've gotten careless,' she began, in a carefully controlled tone.

Chat Noir spun around, startled. Ladybug tried not to look smug, still examining her fingertips.

'So I've been told,' he replied cautiously.

'You shouldn't be bothering innocent girls, you know.' She looked up at him, her anger settling in her chest, hot and prickly.

'I know.'

'Then why do it?' she asked, her anger building.

He turned away from her. 'I don't know,' he replied. 'I guess I just wanted someone to talk to.'

Ladybug stared at him, astonished. Suddenly, her anger drained out of her. 'I guess you don't have any friends to talk to as Chat Noir.'

Chat Noir's laugh was bitter. 'I don't have any friends as anyone. Can you blame me for reaching out when someone doesn't run away from me?'

Ladybug lowered her head. She shouldn't be mad at him. This awful day had been her fault as much as his. The injustice still stung, but she couldn't take it out on him. Papillon had probably already punished him enough.

He turned to face her again, but shrank back when she tried to reach out to him.

'I don't expect you to understand, Ladybug. Everybody loves you. You must have dozens of friends, no matter which face you wear. But, we can't all be as fortunate as you.'

Ladybug wanted to laugh; she had no more friends than he did right now. Then, what he said sank in. He had no friends to lose. She let her hand fall to her side.

'Do you resent me?' she asked.

Chat Noir hugged himself with a pained expression. 'I resent myself,' he answered.

He surprised her with his straightforwardness again. 'Are you always so candid?' she asked.

Chat Noir looked at her. 'Believe it or not, I'm not a liar. I may be the scum of the earth, but I have never lied. Certainly not to you, or that girl.'

Ladybug furrowed her brows. 'Why single her and me out? I wouldn't think either of us had done anything to earn such unwavering trust.'

Chat Noir shrugged. 'Even a small gesture of kindness makes a difference. Marinette showed me a generosity I can't recall ever experiencing before. You, on the other hand, are everything I wish I could be.'

He jumped off the building before she could respond. Ladybug ran to where he'd been standing, and looked down at his probable landing spot, but he wasn't there. More confused than ever, Ladybug turned around and headed home.

 

* * *

 

The next day followed the same pattern as the last. Marinette emerged from her room to be confronted by her parents. She prepared for school and left in stubborn silence, ignoring Sabine's orders for obedience and Tom's pleas for her to eat something.

The students in school still pestered her, even after Alya threatened them with physical violence. Madame Bustier quietly pulled her aside when they let out for lunch and asked if she would like to speak with a professional. Marinette waved her concern away as politely as she could manage, but she was still abrupt, despite her efforts.

By the time classes were finished, Marinette was back in the bad mood she had been in yesterday. She stalked out of the school and away from the other students milling about the doorway. She needed to be alone for a while.

She nearly collided with a boy standing outside the metro. He looked upset as his eyes roamed the area. Marinette thought he must have gotten off at the wrong stop.

'Are you ok?' she asked. 'You're not lost are you?' to her surprise, she felt genuine concern for him.

He looked at her in stunned amazement, spluttering a moment before he answered. 'No, thank you, I'm fine.'

Alya peeked over her shoulder, adjusting her glasses as she regarded the boy. Marinette couldn't blame her. He was a good looking guy. He nodded politely to Alya in return.

'Sorry to worry you over nothing,' he said with a smile. He walked around, and away from them. Marinette felt her gut take a dive.

Turning to Alya, she asked, 'you don't think he recognised me, do you?'

Alya had been watching him leave. 'I doubt it. That picture on the news was dark and grainy. The only way people know it was you was because they recognised your building. That guy doesn't know you from a block of cheese. I think you're good.'

Marinette appreciated Alya's firmness, but doubt niggled in the back of her mind.

'The bigger surprise,' Alya went on as she scrolled through her phone, 'is that you didn't recognise him.'

'Huh?'

Alya looked at her in surprise. 'Girl, that was Adrien Agreste,' she turned her phone to Marinette. It had a picture of the boy posing in designer clothes. 'He's the son of your all-time favourite fashion designer.'

'Of course,' Marinette exclaimed, slapping her palm against her forehead. 'Are you certain he didn't know it was me?'

Alya slung her arm across Marinette's shoulders and walked her across the road. 'There's no way on Earth he knows. Relax, Marinette, you're going to be fine.'

 

Marinette joined her parents for dinner that night, but it was terse and uncomfortable. She retreated to her room immediately after, focussing on her homework with Tikki's help. She completed it in record time, but was still restless. Too wound up to sit any longer, she transformed and ran her patrol. It wasn't too late in the evening, but just as she was finding her rhythm, trouble caught her eye.

Some dim-witted person had just walked onto the road, heedless of the lights or the oncoming traffic. Her heart lodged in her throat when a car sped toward him. She swooped down, scooping him up under one arm, and swung him to the other side of the road.

She turned around to yell at him. 'What do you think you were doing? You could have been flattened.' She paused, waiting for an answer

The boy looked around. She realised who he was and had to bite her tongue to keep from screeching her surprise.

'I'm sorry. What happened?'

Ladybug looked at him in disbelief. 'You just walked across a busy road without waiting for the lights. A car nearly ran you over. Do you have a death wish or something?' she shrieked, unable to hold her shock in any longer

Adrien cringed with a wince. 'I apologise,' he murmured. 'I didn't mean to inconvenience you.'

Ladybug floundered for something to say as her arms waved manically. 'No, I didn't mean it like that. It's no inconvenience. You just scared me, is all.'

God forbid a famous model was reduced to street pizza on her watch.

'Oh, well, then. I'm sorry to have scared you.' Adrien smiled.

Ladybug rubbed her face, groaning softly. She lowered her hands and looked at him, curiously. It wasn't very late, but he was of a similar age to her, and a professional model. He ought to be at home, getting ready for bed. Surely someone must be wondering where he is.

'It's getting late,' she told him. 'Would you like me to take you home?'

Adrien backed away, hands raised. 'No, thank you. I can manage. It's not far from here. Thank you, again, and good night, Ladybug.' Adrien turned and walked off, apparently comfortable in the dark, and confident he could find his way. She let him go, but watched him until he turned a corner.

Shrugging off the weirdness of the day, Ladybug continued her patrol until she was too exhausted to feel anything.

 

* * *

 

Two nights later, Marinette was relaxing in her deck chair with her favourite novel. She was just beginning to lose touch with reality when a thump startled her. Looking up, she saw Chat Noir crouching on her railing again.

'Chat Noir, to what do I owe the pleasure?' she asked, hoping any nosy reporters were taking the night off.

'Good evening, Princess,' Chat Noir replied, with a bow. 'I was just wondering, how would I tell Ladybug that I want to work with her instead of Papillon?'

Marinette dropped her book and sat up straight. 'Wait, what? You find her and you tell her, of course.'

'Is it really a matter of course?' he asked. 'I've been actively working against her for about a year now. She might want nothing to do with me.'

Marinette gulped, thinking fast. 'I think if you're straightforward and honest, she'll believe you. May I ask what brought this on?'

She hoped Papillon hadn't done anything horrible to him. She also hoped he wasn't playing her for a fool.

Chat Noir lowered himself to crouch on the floor. Eyes down and ears flat, he crawled toward her slowly until his head met her knees. He sat there, curling up against her shins, and asked, 'would it make you happy if I changed sides?'

Her heart broke for him. She petted his hair while she gathered her thoughts. 'It would,' she finally replied. 'But you shouldn't make a decision based on what other people think. You should want to do this for you.'

'I do want this for me,' he murmured, 'but sometimes what I want isn't enough.'

'Oh, Chat Noir,' Marinette whispered.

She was in over her head, his emotional state was too much for her limited experience. She continued to pat him, hoping she could convey what she felt with the, admittedly inadequate, gesture.

'I hate this,' Chat Noir burst out, suddenly. 'I hate being the bad guy. I can't stand the thought that I make people scared and unhappy. I hate doing bad things, I hate that people hate me, and I hate that Ladybug hates me.' Chat Noir choked, taking a deep breath. Tears spilled out and ran down Marinette's leg. 'Most of all, I hate myself. For my weakness, my selfishness, for everything.'

Lost for words, Marinette slid out of her chair, careful not to jostle him. She drew him in and hugged him tight, one arm holding his trembling shoulders while her other hand continued to pet his hair. He gingerly hugged her back, and eventually, his breathing evened out.

'Ladybug would be thrilled to have you on her side,' Marinette murmured in his ear. 'Just be honest with her, as you were with me. Trust that everything will work out. It'll all be ok, in the end. You'll see.'

He nodded against her shoulder, but didn't pull away.

Marinette held him until he was ready to let go. 'You can usually find Ladybug at the Louvre on Friday nights,' she told him. 'I'll bet she's been waiting for this for a long time.'

 

* * *

 

The rest of the week dragged by slowly. Marinette feared for Chat Noir, afraid Papillon would hurt him, or damage his already vulnerable emotional state. There were two more akuma attacks, but Chat Noir was absent during both of them. This worried Marinette more than reassured her.

After sunset, she hoped he would come and visit her on her balcony, but he stayed away from that, too. She even ran patrols every night leading up to Friday, hoping to come across him again, but he was nowhere to be found.

Marinette chewed her lip as she whiled the days away in class. Left with no other choice, she waited until Friday night, hoping he would meet her at the Louvre.

 

Once the skies turned black on Friday night, Ladybug raced to the Louvre. This was her only chance, and she didn't want to risk missing Chat Noir again. She found a place to wait where she would be obvious to anyone passing over the rooftop, and waited. She had arrived early, so she figured she may have to wait hours until he appeared, if he did at all. She sat down, crossing her legs in a tailor's position.

Ladybug's mind wandered. Her parents had been fairly quiet, only talking to her if she stayed in the same room as them for too long. She had never realised how hard it was, being at odds with her parents. They were her whole world and she loved them. She wished she could tell them what was happening, but Tikki had told her, repeatedly, that no one can know who she is. It would put her, and her family in danger. So, Marinette had endured their attempts at conversation, responding as best she could, hoping to heal the rift she had put between them. They still hadn't addressed the Chat Noir issue, but hopefully after tonight, it wouldn't be a problem anymore.

If things turned out well tonight, she would tell her parents of Chat Noir's change in sides. But no one else, not even Alya. Her classmates could all keep guessing. They would find out soon enough either way. Their pestering had slowed over the last two days, but they had strong feelings about Chat Noir and they didn't care who heard them. She couldn't blame them. All of her classmates had been akumatised over the last year, and Chat Noir had been Papillon's mouthpiece during that time. There were hard feelings from everyone.

It was a small miracle there had been no reporters hanging around her place since the news of Chat Noir's visit broke. Even now, her parents were ignorant of his following visit. If some photographer had snapped a picture of Chat Noir while he sat at her feet, the rumour mills would be churning like never before. People were already asking if they were dating, or if she was a Papillon sympathiser. She didn't want to imagine what kind of rumours a picture like that would start.

Ladybug looked up when she heard footsteps to her right. Relief washed over her when Chat Noir skulked into view, looking over his shoulder to make sure he wasn't followed. She stood up to catch his attention. She was almost as dark as he, in the dim lighting.

She could tell when he noticed her. His shoulders pulled back, and his posture straightened. He was alert. Ladybug hoped, again, she hadn't just fallen into an elaborate trap.

Approaching her cautiously, Chat Noir raised a hand in greeting. 'Good evening, Ladybug.'

'Hello, Chat Noir. It's been a while.'

'Yeah, well,' he rubbed the back of his head. 'Life's busy,' he said with a half shrug.

Ladybug didn't know how to start without giving herself away, or incriminating her civilian self. It was important he knew he could trust Marinette as well as Ladybug. He might not talk to Marinette again if he thought she was gossiping to Ladybug about him.

She was spared the dilemma when Chat Noir spoke first.

'You're probably wondering why I'm here,' he began. 'I was talking to a friend of mine and she said I could find you here. I hope that's all right.'

'That's fine,' she assured him, too surprised to say anything else. She had no idea he thought of Marinette as a friend. She should have suspected it, after what he told her.

Chat Noir cleared his throat, and shuffled his feet. 'There's something I need to talk to you about. I'm not sure how to tell you or how you're going to react, though,' he said, hesitantly.

She took a deep breath. 'Maybe you should just tell it to me straight,' she suggested.

Chat Noir nodded and fidgeted with his tail. 'I want to join you,' he blurted out in a rush.

'What?'

'I said, I want to join you,' he repeated, carefully enunciating each word.

He wouldn't meet her eyes, and Ladybug was getting concerned.

'Why?'

'Because this is wrong. Everything's wrong, it's been wrong right from day one. I should never have joined Papillon, and I should never have done the things that I did. I allowed him to turn me into a monster, and for what? I'm. I'm unhappy, Ladybug. I know that sounds selfish and childish, but I've always been happiest with you. I feel right with you. It felt like I was pulling my own guts out when I fought against you.'

He fell to his knees, sobbing softly. His tail was twisted around his hand so tight she was afraid he would cut off the circulation.

'This is what you really want?' she asked, approaching him cautiously.

'Yes,' he answered, nodding vigorously.

'How do I know I can trust you?' It was a painful question, but it had to be asked.

Chat Noir looked up at her, his expression resolute. 'I can give you Papillon.'

'What?' she asked, stunned.

'I know who he is. I know where he lives. I know his weaknesses and where he wears his miraculous.'

Ladybug regarded him carefully as she thought. 'What do you propose? Papillon isn't going to just let us walk away with his miraculous.'

Chat Noir got to his feet. 'I propose we attack now. He's in his office, completely immersed in his work. He's also alone.'

'Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. We can't just attack right now.' They couldn't rush into an attack, they would have to plan every move meticulously. It would be crazy to not have a plan.

Chat Noir shook his head. 'There's no better time than now. He leaves for Milan in two days, and I'll be forced to go with him.' He gave her a pleading look. 'Please, Ladybug. I can't be around him, anymore.'

She bit her lip, indecisive. 'You swear, on your life, that you're not going to double cross me?'

Chat Noir placed his right hand over his heart. 'My life isn't worth much, but I swear on my miraculous, that I'm telling the truth. I don't lie, remember?' he asked with a faint smile.

Ladybug looked him in the eye. He didn't flinch, he didn't shy away. Ladybug gave him a confident smile.

'Right,' she said. 'Let's go.'


End file.
